Moe’s Firehouse Grill

Moe’s Firehouse Grill
565 E. Grand River Ave., East Lansing, MI 48823
(517) 333-7040‎

NOTE:  As of today (10-13-08) and driving by on Grand River, the restaurant is closed.

I walked into Moe’s Firehouse Grill and had a bit of an idea of what Chef Gordon Ramsay (Michelin-starred chef featured on FOX’s “Kitchen Nightmares” and “Hell’s Kitchen”) must think when walking into the restaurants that he is about to turn around.  I had a craving for a gyro and didn’t know where to go.  I settled on Moe’s after seeing a Kronos Gyro poster in their window  –  plus a sign that said there was a gyro dinner combo special.  I thought, “what could go wrong here?”  Sadly, the answer was everything that could go wrong  –  would go wrong.

The good news was that dinner set me back $6.50 for a gyro, french fries and fountain drink.  That’s where the good news ended.  After I ordered and paid, I noticed that the grill man took some gyro meat out of the freezer and placed it on the griddle.  If ever I was tempted to take back a transaction, it was right here.  But sadly, the deed was done and I had paid for my dinner.

There was one other customer in the entire place on a Friday night.  There were more flies inside the place than customers (something that Chef Ramsay would point out if he were reviewing the place on his TV show) and I had to swat them away as I tried to enjoy my dinner.  I picked up my gyro and immediately dropped it because the pita was so hot as if it was warmed up on the surface of the sun.  (Too bad this wasn’t an actual firehouse as I might get some water hose relief after getting burned from just picking up my gyro!)

My french fries tasted awful as if the cooking oil hasn’t been changed out in weeks (another thing that Chef Ramsay would point out if he were here).  The fries left a beige stain on the styrofoam container that my dinner was served on  –  a bad sign that the cooking oil is old.  At least my Slice tasted like lemon-lime soda.  The soda helped wash out the remnants of a regrettable meal.

The rest of the menu features plenty of cheap eats:  burgers and fries, sub sandwiches and something called a “chicken wrap.”  I didn’t bother to ask about the chicken wrap.  I bussed my table, took my soda and tried to forget about my mistake of a meal.

Burger Down

Burger Down
529 E. Grand River, East Lansing, MI 48823

The best burgers are not grilled, flame broiled, nor are they microwaved. The best burgers are fried on a griddle and served with fresh-cut fries fried in peanut oil. I discovered this in Northern Virginia when I had my first burger from Five Guys. I always assumed I’d have to drive to Ohio or back to Virginia to experience that again. Not so! Right here in East Lansing is a local gem following the same path.

These burgers will spit in the face of your diet and you’ll need a bottle of fish liver oil pills to clean out your arteries afterwards. But it’s so worth it! This is burger perfection.

Don’t expect anything else, besides burgers and fries. They stick to what they do well. Plenty of toppings, including fried onions, can be added at will. A nice little touch is their “come back sauce” that seems to be a tasty mix of ketchup and mustard.

UPDATE: It seems that this fine establishment has gone out of business.  A “for lease” sign now sits in the window.